Her son's health was a big reason for Joan to talk to her doctor about her mental health struggles.
Transcript
So I kept it a secret, kept it a secret. We went to our family doctor. So we all have the same family doctor; went to our family doctor and made a comment about not wanting any more children, because for a long time I, you know. And even still now I don’t know where I’m at because of my mental health. I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t know if I want to put my body through that again, because it has just been such a bad journey to try and get to a normal space. But, so I had said that we didn’t want any more kids. And my doctor made some sort of comment like “If you’re having problems you know you can tell me.” Like, “I’m not having problems.” Oh I’m sorry, I was like “I’m not having problems.”
And from there then, again, like I had just a hard time of admitting. So my husband knew there was something going on, but I couldn’t tell her. I could not tell her that there was a problem. I just didn’t want to deal with it. And it actually wasn’t until November, this November that I finally said to her “This is what was happening. This is what was going on, that I’m now starting to finally get that sort of stuff figured out.” So we’re at the, my son turned a year in July, so September, October, November, so three months later I finally did something about it, which is not good, but…
Interviewer: So do you have a sense of what it was that finally sort of helped you get over the line where you felt like you could ask for support?
So my husband, my poor husband has to deal with so much crap from me that I mean I couldn’t, I didn’t want to put him through that, and I did not want to put my son through that. I did not want my son to have a mentally unwell mom. Like I know that that’s one of the markers for children who struggle later on in life is if you live with a mentally unwell parent. And I just…
I don’t abuse drugs. I don’t drink. Like, we don’t abuse alcohol. Like we don’t have… My husband and I have a good relationship. Like my son theoretically should have a wonderful life, and the only thing that would be preventing him from having a wonderful life would be me. And I can’t in good conscience do that to him. Like I have to just suck it up and get help for him, because it’s not fair for him not to have the full life that he should have because I don’t want to deal with my mental health. And my mom never dealt with her mental health and it’s, you know it’s just not fair. Like, you have to be a bigger person at some point, yeah.
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